Q. What is the difference between GOD and SALIL ????
A. GOD doesn’t think he’s SALIL !!
Q. What is the difference between SALIL and YOU???
A. SALIL doesn’t think hes YOU !!
June 19, 2008
THE ABATTOIR!!
Well these are some lines penned down by me a few months back….i happened to be at agarwal classes for supervision….some of my friends used to go up there to earn a buck…one day i thought why not try supervision…y not switch roles for a chance….its not everyday that a student gets such an opportunity..to don the role of a TEACHER…but what ensued was just expected…i entered the class and the twittering folks dispersed. I got those affable as well as malevolent looks…after a long lasting duel of looks and frowns which lasted for about 15 minutes…the situation demanded me to do the job I took the most pleasure in…whether it was derisive or sadist I cant say but a smile a smile gripped my lips as i distributed the question papers…and as if the students knew what i exactly thought i was showered by more of those LOOKS…GOD… I was scared..(wink)…i dont blame them entirely though…i used to be in similar situations six months back from then…the scene that followed almost forced me to pen down some lines..i just couldnt resist…almost automatically my cell phone was out of my pockets and i mechanically opened the notes section and started typing then and there……
THE ABATTOIR ( Dt. 25/12/2007 )
Here I sit on the professors’ chair
Watching funny limbs calculating in the air.
Though teaching isn’t my job exactly
I’m supervising as a matter-of-factly.
Looking at the abashed faces of the lot
Writing hazy answers which they just forgot.
Some have just got a kick in their gut
Rest are pondering over their last night effort.
Some are too cocky some confused
Imagining their plight I’m a bit amused.
I pity them, with their paper they are at war
Isn’t this groany hall their deadly ABATTOIR ?
well i had deliberately and prudently kept it short as i was going to sms it to my frnds…so a longer one would have meant minus 50 bucks from my balance…
so i keep writing…..and u keep commenting…….
IMPUDENCE AT ITS PEAK!!!
So coming back to the topic of discussion….PROCRASTINATION….(SORRY I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS INCIDENT IN THE PREVIOUS ENTRY THOUGH MY INTENTION WAS TO WRITE ONLY THIS….BUT GOT CARRIED AWAY…)
its bin 17 days since 21st of may….when we were supposed to get our results…yes my second semester has ended…and i am dreading the results as always….so our results were going to be out on 21st may….n today is june 9….and as you guessed it right…they are still not out…..well what to say….the ways of my college are the most peculiar n beyond me…. so this friend of mine who is always very enthusiastic about the result thing goes to the place to find out ……he sees a peon….well let me tell you..to us these are peons…but for themselves they are the ones to rule the college..they behave like the descendants of veermata jijabai ( no offense meant )….they walk with such pride that their necks are 3 feet above the shoulders and chests 3 feet to the fore….u ask them a straight question…and you get answers based on either your gender ( preferably female ) or your mother tongue ( preferably marathi )…and finally when they do answer they do it with such insolence and impunity that u feel like $(&$(%# their *^^$*….
so coming back to the incident….this friend of mine asked him with the utmost chivalry and consideration
friend : kaka result lagnar ka??? (by this he meant that will the result be declared that day )
peon : ho lagnaar na
friend : pan kadhi ???/
kaka : te mahit nahi…………………………….
what can u decipher from this dialogue…..the height of disrespect rudeness and non pragmatism….now result will be out someday is common knowledge…..but when a student asks you something is that the way to reply…..this is so aberrant..this is not at all expected from an institute of such prestige such name…..well what so say….i found this unacceptable as well as funny…….so i keep writin…..n u keep commenting…………….
PROCRASTINATION AT ITS PEAK
A year ago i happened to land up in this prestigious institute (read VJ*I) or so it is called (though it doesnt really seep into the wrinkled flesh at the back of my forehead that what is so prestigious about this institute). its been a year full of insensible non pragmatic people n incidents that are not a rarity in here. you enter the college and the security guard (at least he looks like one thanks to his uniform but trust me you wont notice this fragile creature unless he really wants you to) calls out ” ID “. perhaps thats the only english taught to him ever. and i feel amused over how this oaf doesnt get bored saying that monosyllable to every single poor soul that enters through the gates. can u imagine uttering a single word incessantly without really caring if that person is hanging the id over the neck. if u ask that person the full form of the word he utters almost a thousand times a day there is a negative probability that he would come up with the right answer.well who cares?? you enter the premises and you see the main building (or so it is called….if u ask me i have a strong feeling it must have been a fort built by the British government in early 1900s to fight the rising revolutionary activities by Indians).anyways. what follows almost shook my ribs when i saw it for the first time. there in the garden ( yes it is supposed to be one) stand three (or may be four) huge military tanks. yes u read it right. people say they are from the times of the second world war but if u ask me….this was a result of the foresight of a visionary who foresaw this place as a dumping ground or a historical museum ( trust me you get to see things here that are extinct to the outside world. the machines the pumps the various models kept here truly deserve to be the objects of a historical museum. these things dont work. though the teachers have found a way to explain their presence there saying that these machines are not found in other colleges and that we are the privileged ones to have witnessed them…what i fail to understand is that what good are these machines to us if they are nonexistent to the outside world. this is all beyond my comprehension )….ok lets enter the classrooms now……u enter the classroom and it be once in a million chance if u miss the lame four legged creature scratching away to glory…yes the only sensible creature in this place…yes the mans best friend…he is so comfortable in our classroom that he doesnt really mind if anyone sits on the same bench under which he rests…he is at peace….he loves the aura n atmosphere in our class…hes got used to us n we to him….then the pedagogues enter…( in case you didnt get the word…a pedagogue means a teacher)…these pedagogues are always smiling..i dont understand what is so ecstatic about a class which doesnt even bother find out if the pedagogues is there…but still they seem to be elated…i thought a lot over this and finally closed over a conclusion that the pedagogues are happy that atleast the fourlegged creature listens to them…..they teach the creature n the creature continues to scratch his brains in an effort to understand the theories….thus everything is at equilibrium …the class the pedagogue n the dog ( ohh what a rhyme…pedagogue and dog )….and the reaction runs smoothly at room temperature without the need of any catalyst…but the security guard doesnt seem to like the balance….yes the guard has got another job too….breaking the equilibrium….this is the most satanic job to do if you ask me…but the guard like it that way…he enters the class while the pedagogue is into his pedagogy n shoos away the four legged soul much to the dismay of the class the pedagogue n the dog…shaaa…the equilibrium is disturbed…and then things continue to go haywire…my college is really interesting and i would love to write more about my college….but then what would fill my further blog entries….
heres a promise to make……….i keep writing……u keep commenting……………
WARNING!
ALL THE CHARACTERS N STORIES MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG ARE FICTITIOUS AND SOLELY OF THE AUTHOR’S IMAGINATION. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THOSE LIVING OF DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.NO OFFENSE MEANT AND NO REGRETS MADE.THANK YOU.
ONLY YOURS
